April 2013
I finally had time to open my tumblr again!
October 2012
Reputation
Reputation. It is something some people care about the most. Can I do this? Can I do that? What will people think of me? I just hope that we can just ignore other people’s judgment. What our problem is that we value those nonsense criticisms.
I, for one, also care too much of what people might say. But I can’t just teach myself to dictate my mind and my heart. So what I do is just act like I don’t care. Yes, I act it out.
I walk pass by many people and I see them whispering to one another. What are they saying? Is it about me? Is it about how I move? Instead of letting them see how insecure I am, I just walk proud and keep my composure as I pass by them.
“Oh he’s gay!”
“Swing those hips more! Woot woot!”
Say it more. Say it louder. I won’t care. I don’t care. Or at least I tell myself that I don’t.
Everyday, ever since I can remember, I am already hearing those words. And today, I don’t know if I’m not affected by it anymore or I just got used to it. What I do now is just give them what they want. You want me to be like this, then I’ll be like this. As they say, “If you can’t beat them, join them.” Which is also wrong, I shouldn’t have mind what they are saying. I should be what I want to be.
I guess my point is, everyone should be given the right to act the way they want and just be who they are. Not everyone who swings their hips is gay, and not everyone who walks manly is straight!
Maybe I didn’t get to read the manual on how to live my life. If you’re a guy and walked too feminine, you’re gay and you have to like boys. If you’re a girl and walked too manly, you’re lesbian and you have to like girls.
What we need is not freedom to do whatever we want, because we have that. What we need is to care less. Let them think what they want. For all we know, they’re just as insecure as we are.
Is it wrong to love two people at the same time? Maybe even three?
Maybe it’s not even love? Maybe a little crush? Infatuation?
Ugh. I don’t what’s wrong with me. Maybe this is me being hungry for attention. For love?
July 2012
So ngayon ko lang nalaman kung paano gamitin ang Tumblr for BB.
Engot ka Mark! Engot! Sana matino tong app na to. Ugh.
“Matagal na akong may gusto sayo. Mahal na nga yata kita eh.” “Okay lang. Friends pa rin tayo. Walang magbabago.”
Laging sinasabi na walang magbabago. SINONG NILOLOKO MO? Merong magbabago! Nandiyan yung ilangan kapag magkasama kayo, yung parang laging may borderline sa pagitan niyo at hindi na kayo pwedeng magdikit dahil natatakot sa pwedeng isipin nung isa, nandyan na yung hindi na kayo makakapag-usap ng kahit ano.
Tapos darating sa point na hindi na kayo nagkikita. Yung parang umiiwas na yung isa. Tapos kahit sa text di ka rereplyan. Sa chat naman ganun din. Kahit same set pf friends pa kayo, nagagawa pa rin niyang pagtaguan ka.
SAKSAK MO SA LALAMUNAN MO YANG SINABI MONG WALANG MAGBABAGO.
May 2012
LOVE at first sight? ATTRACTION at first sight.
Do you really believe that you can love a person on the very first day that you laid eyes on him/her? Well, I beg to differ.
I believe that ATTRACTION is the more appropriate word to use than LOVE. Isn’t it a bit exaggerated to say that you already LOVE that person?
Who am I to argue about it anyway. People have different definition of what LOVE is.
Would you say it’s LOVE when your heart beats fast when he’s around? When you sweat a lot when he’s close to you? When you stutter answering his questions?
If you do, I’d think your scared to death of him, not in love. HAHA!
Ang dami kong nakikitang incoming Frosh sa Mapua nitong mga nakaraang araw. Napaisip ako kung ano kaya ang nasa isip nila habang pumipila noong enrolment?
“Yes! Magiging Mapuan na ko. The best Engineering school sa Pilipinas!”
“Hay, sa Mapua na ako mag-aaral. Ayoko dito.”
Napaisip lang ako kasi noong ako yung nandun sa posisyon nila, isa ako sa mga masasama ang loob dahil sa Mapua ako papasok. Pero habang nag-aaral doon, may mga nakilala ako na pinangarap talaga na doon mag-aral.
Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako sigurado kung maswerte nga ako dahil sa Mapua ako nag-aaral dahil sa sobrang hirap ng dinaranas ko. Pero sabi nga nila ”No pain, no gain.”
April 2012
Academic Placement din ako :( sa 24 pa report date ko. Ang ganda nga ng mga choices mo. Ayun, may maipapayo ka ba saken? Salamat :)
Academic Placement ibig sabihin bumagsak ka sa course na gusto mo di ba? Siguro maipapayo ko lang na gusto mo talaga yung course na mapipili mo. Sobrang mahihirapan ka kung di mo gusto yung kukunin mo. Tignan mo ako, hirap na hirap sa Engineering.
Pinipilit kong mahalin ang Engineering. It just won’t love me back. </3 Hahaha. JK.
Hello :-) nabasa ko yong post about sa Academic Placement. Ano pong nangyari at sa MAPUA kayo dinala ng Diyos? :-)
Academic Placement lang ako sa UST, sa totoo lang, nadisappoint ako, pero may mga nagsasabi na hinirapan daw yung exams noon sa batch namin kasi Quadri and/or napupuno na daw yung USTe. Tsaka naisip ko na ang liit ng chances na makapasok ako sa gusto kong course sa USTe dahil nga Acad Placement lang ako, so hindi na ko tumuloy dun.
Anyway, I was set to go to La Salle, dahil dun talaga pumasa ako, with BS Computer Science Major in Computer Systems Engineering.
Things changed nung na-deny ang application ko for Financial Assistance and nung kinausap ng Adviser ko nung 4th year yung Mama ko. Sinabi niya na parang sayang daw kung Computer Science lang kukunin ko dahil magaling DAW ako sa Math, he suggested na mag-Engineering ako.
Since hindi daw afford ng parents ko pag-aralin ako sa La Salle, to think na konti lang ang difference ng tuition fees ah, after Graduation, nag-last minute exam ako sa Mapua. Pumasa naman ako. Super badtrip ako dahil sa mga nangyari, so I let them decide anong kukunin ko.
Ngayon, ECE student ako sa Mapua. Loving and hating it. I don’t know, maybe I’ll learn to love it through my journey in college. HAHA!
Masyado na yata akong nasanay na pumapasok. Kaya eto ako ngayon, naninibago na walang ginagawa.
One good thing ngayong bakasyon ko, nakahabol na ko sa mga sinusubaybayan kong series! Hooray for me!
Gabi-gabing puno ang Utorrent ko ng mga episodes ng Glee, The Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, Bones, The Walking Dead at ANTM.
I don’t want to be forever TANGA. Alam mo na ngang hindi pwede eh, ipipilit mo pa. Alam mo na ngang walang pag-asa eh, pipilit mo pa.
Pero masama ba? Sarili ko lang naman sinasaktan ko eh.
Yun na nga eh. Sarili mo sinasaktan mo paano pa magkakaron ng tao para mahalin ka kung pati sarili mo mas pinipili mong saktan?
March 2012
I long for that “lambing” gestures.
